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The guesthouse
that saves lives...
Mark Oliver - Wednesday December 06, 2006 -
The
Guardian
On a clear autumn
afternoon a few weeks ago, Katie sat in her garden feeling too scared to
go into her house because of "all the objects in there that I could
use to harm myself". The 30-year-old computer programmer was a
victim of sexual abuse when she was younger and has had problems with
alcohol and drugs for more than 10 years.
In the space of a few months earlier this year a long-term partner left
her, she was forced to relocate away from friends, she experienced two
bereavements, and she had painful treatment for a medical problem.
She
suffered verbal homophobic abuse in the street and, after a year off
drink and drugs, had a relapse. At that point in her garden, she says, a
worsening tendency to self-harm by cutting herself could have become
fatal. "I was no longer bothered about what happened to me; whether
I lived or not did not seem to matter."
Unsure what to do, she reached into a pocket and found a number her
therapist had given her for Maytree, a charity which invites suicidal
people to stay for four nights at a pleasant, normal-looking terrace
house in Finsbury Park, north London. The guests spend time alone or
chatting to trained volunteers and the idea is to provide respite so
they can get out of the crisis zone and find a new path towards better
mental health.
Katie, who lives on the outskirts of London, was deeply distressed as
she called the number. "I felt like I did not deserve their help -
that Maytree was maybe not for people like me. I have a good degree and
a good career. I thought they might just tell me to pull myself
together."
This wasn't what Maytree director Paddy Bazeley told her. As Ms Bazeley
says, suicidal people can be "any social class or from any ethnic
background". The age range of guests at the house has ranged from
18 to 80.
Ms Bazeley and Katie spoke for 20 minutes on the phone and then, after a
preliminary chat at the house, Katie was invited to stay. She arrived a
few days later. Katie says the charity may have saved her life - a view
that is probably shared by many of the more than 200 people who have
stayed there since Maytree opened in late 2002. Around 50% of the guests
are self-referrals like Katie; others are referred by third parties such
as hospitals or the Samaritans.
Katie said: "If I had not called, the chances of me doing something
serious to myself were greater than not doing something. When I was at
the house part of the difficulty of talking about being suicidal is
taken away because this is already clear by your presence.
"There were lighter moments when you could share a joke with Paddy
or the volunteers. I drank endless cups of tea and played cards around
the kitchen table. I felt for the first time that my problems were
serious and worthy of help. I was having therapy beforehand but the
approach of a 50-minute session and then being back on the street was
not working for me.
"At Maytree they try to prepare you to cope better after you have
left and they gave me details about other kinds of support I did not
know about. I feel now that I have turned a corner and am not a threat
to myself."
Ms Bazeley, who worked for 30 years for the Samaritans, says there are
always two volunteers at the house. Around 70% of the guests have
previously attempted suicide. Suicide kills some 6,000 people in Britain
every year.
Ms Bazeley says there are spaces for four people to stay at any one time
and the average cost to the charity for each stay is £1,000 -"a
small price to pay for saving a life". The charity relies entirely
on donations and has no public funding.
Katie's name has been changed.
Maytree can be contacted night and day 0207 263 7070, maytree.org.uk
The facts:
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Suicide is the
leading cause of death for men under 35
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For every suicide
there are 20 to 30 attempted suicides
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Three-quarters of
those who kill themselves have not been in touch with mental health
services in the previous 12 months. Many fear stigma or
hospital.
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